few years back i was still complaining how my mom din support me or how she disagree stuff against me...or like yelled " and complaining that i m not doing chores...yada yada yada~~~
but i tend to stop complaining as i grew bigger, and as mommy grew older.
she stop complaining.... hmmm neh she didn't.. she just dont 'disagree' with me or my sis that much ever since.......... i dun remember when..... she grew tired of complaining dad is not helping with chores... scolding or warning me not to go out so often was also less heard from her... she also does not complain about that much or being depress...
as a EMO kid... which most of us are in this generation in KL,we understand what depression is and most of us face it b4,
its either we overcome it faster or slower...
i dont why... i start to worried about mommy..
its either we overcome it faster or slower...i feel very sympathetatic when i see her doing all the chores..
the cooking... the clothes... the rooms... the floor...everything...
sometimes it got to me.. and i would just walk up to her n say :
"just give me the mop... i'll do it.."
i know its not polite but at least its not rude... behind those not so polite not so rude words.."just give me the mop... i'll do it.."
i actualy wanted her to just rest for a minute...
instead of resting, she was starting on another housework...
" grrrr~~ Why 'ma'?! y cant u just rest for abit?!"
even how frustrating it was..
it actually hurts deep inside..
coz i realize i was just not a good daughter...
why cant i push myself enough to do more for her?
why cant i push myself to do the chores regularly?
why cant i push myself to not be so lazy?
why? i would always sit aside in the dark when all of them are asleep
and ask myself these question...
and tell myself that she's old and weak and sick...
why cant i push myself to do the chores regularly?
why cant i push myself to not be so lazy?
why? i would always sit aside in the dark when all of them are asleep
and ask myself these question...
and tell myself that she's old and weak and sick...
every night she's in pain and 
i would always be the one there to massage for her.
Even though sometimes i dont like doing it,
but i know i should because its the least i can do for her..
after a whole day of chores she had done
which actually shoud have been done by me.
i would always be the one there to massage for her.
Even though sometimes i dont like doing it,
but i know i should because its the least i can do for her..
after a whole day of chores she had done
which actually shoud have been done by me.
i m not a immature kid, i know what i have to do..
but i m just lazy and i dun have the heart to do it..instead of helping her out... i made her to relax by going for movies
directed by Mr. Neo (Singaporian)
she loves those because its funny and meaningful. she love it.
i thought it was a good thing and i should make her go out more
n feel more relax like how we teen always do but i forgotten something.
therefore, Once there was a very nice movie,
i wanted her to hang out with me n my sis, i knew she liked it, but she refuse to go...
i asked why... she said because if she went out with us...
i asked why... she said because if she went out with us...
"nobody will do the chores.. 
nobody will cook for you all.."
nobody will cook for you all.."then only i realize... i forgotten
she was a wife and a mom. A good and responsible one.
From those words, no wonder that is y, she always stayed at home when dad n us go out.
i always thought that she was just lazy to go out
but then only realized that she wasn't lazy at all.
She wanted to stay at homebut then only realized that she wasn't lazy at all.
because she want to finish drying up our uniforms/clothes, finish washing the pan and changing bedsheets and all.
Besides that, she was also helping dad to safe one person 'eat-out' "fees".
Mom's going for a surgery tomorrow. She will be at the hospital for 7~10days i estimate.
Even before she is admit into the hospital,
she tried as hard as possible to finish every single minor chores at home, she tried to stock up food, groceries at home to prepare us a week without her at home.
She is doing so much that when i watch i feel like
biting up myself. i m such a pempered young lady by my mother but i always cant do much for her.
She reminds me several times of what to do and what not to do
when she will be at the hospital.
She even dare not to remind too many times
because she was afraid i get annoyed by her like how i did when it was a few years back.
Even before she is admit into the hospital,
she tried as hard as possible to finish every single minor chores at home, she tried to stock up food, groceries at home to prepare us a week without her at home.
She is doing so much that when i watch i feel like
biting up myself. i m such a pempered young lady by my mother but i always cant do much for her.She reminds me several times of what to do and what not to do
when she will be at the hospital.
She even dare not to remind too many times
because she was afraid i get annoyed by her like how i did when it was a few years back.
Somehow i could feel that behind all those complains and mumbling and negging....
mom is really tough and she really loves and take care of us.
i dont know why
in the 1st time i m feeling that
i m going to miss her so much in this 7~10days...
but i just wouldn't show it out to her...
maybe its coz our family is more alike to be slightly....
....conservative in 'showing family love'
but Mommy's actions speaks louder than words.
I love you mom~ I m sorry....
.
...i dont show it to you everyday.
...i dont show it to you everyday.
Its touch. :)
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