搞笑 - 罗志祥


那一条牙膏 在对我傻笑
嘲笑我永远用不掉

想睡就睡 想闹就闹

好快乐少了人唠叨

蓝色的碗盘 多买了
我忘了没人陪我通宵
要多少替代的丑角 无辜的陪笑
才会让我能真的忘了你的好

我在搞笑 借着热闹 掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑 偏要说着 一个人真好
当人群散了 突然觉得我可以死掉
我受不了

还在搞笑 害怕回家 不知怎么熬
这么多年 早就喜欢 有你的撒娇
我想我能熬 但是至少要让我知道

你好不好

我们的小狗 食量变好小

眼神里常常显得无聊

他习惯睡觉的床位 少了一双脚

所以他常常看着门口睡不着

我在搞笑 借 着热闹 掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑 偏要说着 一个人真好
当人群散了 突然觉得 我可以死掉
我受不了

我在搞笑 却在最后 眼泪拼命掉
你的离开 失去多少 我计算不了
忙完了一天 突然觉得又何必辛劳
对谁炫耀

24 03 2009

Y are you always like this?

today is your specail day! not mine..i know its your choice of who u wan to celebrate with...
but u always told me u wanted to celebrate it with me.. but why u didn't kept your words?
why do u have to do this like this?

i wish that u can feel...
maybe its all not meant to be anyway...

you could just have told me u dont want to celebrate it with me...
instead of giving me hope and smash it into pieces over and over again...


Have you forgotten everything you promised me?
A heart is just too fragile to be hurt over and over again!
Please just stop all your nonsense!
Please just stop all your lies!
You hurt me so much and yet u expect me to love you and be your girl?

Blind i was, to be believing your words
I was just naive and stupid!
Rather spending time with u and gave up my friends, my hopes, my dreams
To trust u and give you chance over and over again was FOOLISH!!
Hurt and hatred is what there is only left...
Deep down in my broken heart, i can do nothing but cry...
Angels look over me... see me pouring tears every night after listening to you complaining that..
"Y are u not caring enough to me and Y you always dont understand me" (what you said everynight)

Behind those complaining...

few years back i was still complaining how my mom din support me or how she disagree stuff against me...or like yelled "

and complaining that i m not doing chores...yada yada yada~~~

but i tend to stop complaining as i grew bigger, and as mommy grew older.
she stop complaining.... hmmm neh she didn't.. she just dont 'disagree' with me or my sis that much ever since.......... i dun remember when..... she grew tired of complaining dad is not helping with chores... scolding or warning me not to go out so often was also less heard from her... she also does not complain about that much or being depress...



as a EMO kid... which most of us are in this generation in KL,

we understand what depression is and most of us face it b4,
its either we overcome it faster or slower...

i dont why... i start to worried about mommy..
i feel very sympathetatic when i see her doing all the chores..
the cooking... the clothes... the rooms... the floor...everything...

sometimes it got to me.. and i would just walk up to her n say :
"just give me the mop... i'll do it.."

i know its not polite but at least its not rude... behind those not so polite not so rude words..

i actualy wanted her to just rest for a minute...
instead of resting, she was starting on another housework...
" grrrr~~ Why 'ma'?! y cant u just rest for abit?!"
even how frustrating it was..
it actually hurts deep inside..
coz i realize i was just not a good daughter...

why cant i push myself enough to do more for her?
why cant i push myself to do the chores regularly?
why cant i push myself to not be so lazy?
why? i would always sit aside in the dark when all of them are asleep
and ask myself these question...
and tell myself that she's old and weak and sick...

every night she's in pain and
i would always be the one there to massage for her.
Even though sometimes i dont like doing it,
but i know i should because its the least i can do for her..
after a whole day of chores she had done
which actually shoud have been done by me.

i m not a immature kid, i know what i have to do..

but i m just lazy and i dun have the heart to do it..
instead of helping her out... i made her to relax by going for movies
directed by Mr. Neo (Singaporian)
she loves those because its funny and meaningful. she love it.
i thought it was a good thing and i should make her go out more
n feel more relax like how we teen always do but i forgotten something.

therefore, Once there was a very nice movie,

i wanted her to hang out with me n my sis, i knew she liked it, but she refuse to go...
i asked why... she said because if she went out with us...

"nobody will do the chores.. nobody will cook for you all.."

then only i realize... i forgotten

she was a wife and a mom. A good and responsible one.

From those words, no wonder that is y, she always stayed at home when dad n us go out.

i always thought that she was just lazy to go out
but then only realized that she wasn't lazy at all.

She wanted to stay at home
because she want to finish drying up our uniforms/clothes, finish washing the pan and changing bedsheets and all.
Besides that, she was also helping dad to safe one person 'eat-out' "fees".

Mom's going for a surgery tomorrow. She will be at the hospital for 7~10days i estimate.
Even before she is admit into the hospital,
she tried as hard as possible to finish every single minor chores at home, she tried to stock up food, groceries at home to prepare us a week without her at home.

She is doing so much that when i watch i feel like biting up myself. i m such a pempered young lady by my mother but i always cant do much for her.

She reminds me several times of what to do and what not to do
when she will be at the hospital.
She even dare not to remind too many times
because she was afraid i get annoyed by her like how i did when it was a few years back.

Somehow i could feel that behind all those complains and mumbling and negging....
mom is really tough and she really loves and take care of us.

i dont know why

in the 1st time i m feeling that

i m going to miss her so much in this 7~10days...

but i just wouldn't show it out to her...

maybe its coz our family is more alike to be slightly....

....conservative in 'showing family love'

but Mommy's actions speaks louder than words.

I love you mom~ I m sorry....

....i dont show it to you everyday.

i guess finally he gave up...

he never appear.
as usual.
REASON : i duno why.

but this time
i put a full stop "." to it. it wasn't easily but its time.

i thought he would called or sms back eagerly
to give me some lame excuse,

but he didn't, i guess he finally understand that

i dun wan to listen to those reason anymore

He never called back. He never text.

Its a 1st time and i guess its the last.
maybe he gave up too.

i dun understand why he wont show up.
i use to wonder and question myself as well as him,
but there was just no answer...

~i really did love you~

i guess he was just not listening to me...

i m tired, too tired for this anymore...

i dun wan to pretend that i can do these anymore..
too tired to think of any reasons or be more sympathetic,

its just to tired to get hurt over n over again.

i watch a cooking program this afternoon,
it was about homemade birthday cakes.
i know how to do it,
because it was an chocolate birthday cake in that program.

i wanted to bake one actually.

(images are from google)

but he wont even show up for a normal date.
i dont think he will show up for a small cake anyways.

i guess its really time for everything to be wrapped UP and

put~~~~~~~~............

................~~~~~~~~~~ away now.

today 'was' the day!

Today was the day that i was waitting for...
but i end up chickening out...
i din go to the audition.
i stayed at home.
and disappointed all those who supported me. =(

Winnie and Ren Lin went there. i thought they were joking.
so i din go. but end up when they were there.
they called me. haiz....and i was at home in my room still thinking

i m so scare and i thought they wont be there.
mayb next year will be good.
at least i prepare myself for 1 more year 1st. =(

among everybody who is dissapointed, i m the one who is most sad and most dissapointed
about myself because i still dont have the guts to do it.

i guess i will just be an audience again this year.

Should i try it?

i m born in the same year of her but do i have the same talent as her?
An 18 year old winning over everybody,
She made in happen.

this was last year in 2008
i wasn't able to join or be a part of it because i was in NS!!
or maybe ns was just an excuse for me. i think that i wasn't quite ready for it.
It is my dream to join n know how well can i do.
but am i really sure about this?
i dont know.

this year's audition is next week 21st march 2009(saturday),
should i go?
i still dont think i m not ready even after i have learn how to sing from hailo forest.
i m now in my '2nd semester' of vocal class in hailo forest.

actually in there, my teacher, Alan teacher and Selina teacher said:
"you have power, but you just don't know how to control it well yet"

even though, it is somehow a small compliment =), but i dont think i m good enough,
i do know how to play a piano in like 5 years back
when i still have my piano lesson~~~
i think everything is rusty now.
but in the 2nd semester in hailo,
i have to sing and play at the same time!
can i do it?
can i do it as well as him???

i get all nervous and scare
worst is... my voice wouldn't sound quite right
due to the chills and cold sweat when i have stage fright and froze up my throat.
with that and a pair of shivering hands.

i'm not quite sure if i can even pass through
the 1st "30"second of audition
in this once in a life time "30hours non-stop" audition
by Astro Star Quest 2009

but i really really wanna try, and deep down, i dont only want to try,
i wan to really sing on stage,
i wan to be able to blow up the whole crowd of audience
with my powerful voice
besides that i really want to touch ppl's heart by singing.

i wonder if i m going to make a decision by this saturday.
i wonder will i get to stand on that stage like she did.

i wonder if i could even survive all these.



can i ever bea part of this?

will I take a big step ahead into the audition hall ernot!
=(O~O)=
i still dont know!!!
and i only have few more days to think about it.

my sister is supportive but in a way
she is always the one saying i dont sing that well =.=!

oh god~
show me which path i should take...

and would love to get some comments from peeps around.
~peace out~