play now? or play then?

i have been avoiding this site for quite some days, as i had too much in my hand to cope with,

writing here too much would just lead me to being more emotional and slacking in my work.

haiz... alot of things in my heart... but how many ppl are there that i can trust to let it out to them?

anyway.. these few days there were alot going in college...

either assignments, or social.... it was just very crazy..... *sigh*

i know i hurt some of your feelings by just being frank to you girls,

and i guess i m the only stupid one who is brave enough to let it out in your face and not secretly hiding it so that you all can like the 'fake me'... or maybe i m just not that type of person.

i guess i was just too silly to think that i can train you girls up... and maybe i was arrogant to think so..

maybe i should have do all the work by myself, and only let u girls present only.. or maybe i didn't know and understand your feelings well enough to manage this group...

do you think i feel better after sounding out yesterday....

my whole night.. i kept worry-ing did i said too much?? was i being fair or was i being arrogant?? was i being too over?? should i even do that as a friend??? how are they going to feel about me...

my whole night... i was thinking about your feelings....

i even think whether should i grab you girls out to grab some pizza and let you girls feel better..

but maybe it wud seem so fake like.. after i marah marah you girls.. then i pujuk pujuk you all balik... i just dont know.. how to handle this feeling... it better off i m not the leader bcoz it sucks to be one... especially when grouping with close frenz...

i m still wondering did i the right thing or not... or i should have just do all the work by myself.. then later on only teach you all what to present.. instead of intentionally hoping to train you girls up on how to understand n write out those reports... maybe it was just all wrong..

and maybe it just my fault.... if it is.. just let me know... and i will definitely apologize...and make it up to you girls

just now in facebook, i sighed.. i was surprised that you came and comment n tried to cheer me up... its was a "O-M-G" to me... wow.. you were more 'dai fong' then i imagine.. you changed.. and you proved to me.. you handle it well and you improved. i was surprised. super!! (you know who are you when you see this)

you girls.. just let me know... what you all want k? coz i maybe fierce when i m serious in handling work... but i m always ok n open to opinions and critism although i sometimes dun take it so well.. at least you girls sound out... i would know what to do.. n learn from you girls so that i can be a better person too... dun be afraid of me.. i wont eat you girls up ok？i want to be true frenz with you girls... and not just PLAYMATES... but if u want to just the the 'playmates' relationship with me... i dun mind at all =) when FUN times come.. we will always hang out. so JUST LET ME KNOW k? =)

ABOUT BUSINESS and LIFE LECTURE

(if you dun like this dun read it.. and really mean it.. DONT READ!!!!!!!!)

when i was 11years old....my elder brother was a PRO in basketball (to me..he is)

i fell in love with basketball too ever since then... when just a 141cm girl at tat time..

who is going to take me seriously in this sport??? a shorty vs basketball?? (are you kidding me)my legs were shorter than any other players.. my stamina was worst than other players.. my movement and reaction was slower than others...

i remember my brother telling :" if you adi realise you have shorter legs, run twice faster to keep up with those longer legs, if you know stamina and reaction is slower TRAIN twice harder than any other players just to keep up with them, but if you wanna be better any 1 of them, you must train yourself up 3 to 4 more times harder and more than any other players."

he was right, until now i still remember what he said.

Just in life, there is no 'free lunch' even there is.... how much luck do you want to rely on to get it?? even you have the luck?? how many others would have the same too?? and how are you going to fight it over with them or are you generous enough to SHARE it with' em??

thus, for me... i m not as rich as others, but in order to live the same kind of lifestyle to relax and enjoy, i m work twice time harder to earn that life style, but i know if i would want to live a even better life and enjoy even more than any others of the same age gap i m in.. i would have to be 3 or 4 or even more times hardworking and daring to do so.

everything might be just a dream for me now.. but i m sure i would achieved it.

i rmb those who laughed at me during basketball long ago b4 but after just 3years who is the one laughing back at you now.

so now this is my future and business... its not just a sport, but i know i can achieved it!

"YOU"

After a big busy week that just past, i finally had sometime to finish up some of my

unfinished missions:

1) clean up my messy bedroom

2) wash my dirty car

3) keeping up with my web design class assignment (still in the progress of doing)

4) had some "me" time to read a few pages of book, not any assignment related book, just a book for leissure (reading a few pages = reading a zillion books to me, i have a few mins to just focus in that few pages is truly GREAT for me) haha..

i m so glad that i could accomplish so many things in just this few weeks.

it is truly grateful to always be occupied and non-stop moving forward for more achievements.

i m thankful that god gave me the strength to keep me moving forward mentally from the insight of my soul and mind

*spending a few twist and swirl around the "world" i understand more, and god has taught me everything happens for a reason. & when god turns your world upside down, He just wants u to learn how to live right side up again.*

i m thankful that my parents both mom and dad gave me the greatest love to make sure i grown up healthy and perfectly (as in din kena kitnap, robbed, malnutrition, lack of love and etc)

*after spending a few months of teaching kids tuition and watching how my younger cousins grow up process.. HAHA.. i felt it was so DAM hard!!!!!!!!! to keep TROUBLE away from kids, my parents were able to keep all dangers and trouble away from the 3 of us, is really powerful! xD hehehe... for that i love them even more, looking at them grow old and some times get sick, makes my heartache but builts my motivation to be a better person even stronger because i wan to be able to love them and take care them back*

i m thankful for my siblings, for the typical fighting get still making up childhood memories which made some of the parts of me today. at least I M NORMAL and not like some others. xD

Even though its so happy that we had all grown up and do not have to share the same room with each other again, i kinda miss you both. As we spend lesser time with each other now =( especially you my brother! hmm maybe that's life.

I m thankful to all my cousins and relatives too. They too shaped me into who i m today, with those sweet memories in Tapah nor JB, or vacation all around msia. Those weekends of gathering, from masak masak to cycling to computer games to ps2 to shopping together now contribute to all my colourful years in this BIG family. We always would not let each other go down to the 'hell road' as we wud always pull each other back up to the right path and encourage each other til then end! hehe... i love you guys too =)

Besides that, this part is always the part i mention which is... My friends.

You all had been the most important part in my life as i m easily influenced by you guys more than anyone.

To those who hurt and look down on me once. i thank you for doing it as you made me stronger to face harder challenges and move through tougher obstacles in life. THE Pain you guys once pierce and stab through my body, made everything in my life now easier as NO PAIN NO GAIN, everything now seems much more easier as it just 'sap sap water' to me already after you all hurt me. Those experience and lessons i learn, shaped me into a smarter yet kinder person as i learn not be a worse person like you all.

To those who thinks i m just Plain Stupid and loves to take advantages from me. You taught me how to handle ppl like you every time you do it to me. Its just like a online game that both you and I continuously level up our power on how to defend and attack. You guys shape my thinking in crisis management and skills in jerks distinguishing. Its certainly a game as stressed up as dota, as challenging yet knowledgeable as SODUKU. Keep it UP ya, i will be prepare to learn as after every GAME OVER, I still get another chance to beat you again.

To those who had brought me knowledge and directed me into the right paths. I have all my respect for you as you taught me things that i would have overlooked. Such as the 2 guys that intro me into reading books. It really hard to get me to read books you know, macam paksa me jiak sai like tat.. but both of them so geng, now you know why i respect them so much.

The 1st one was "Mr Ice Lemon Tea" - you intro "Poor Daddy , Rich Daddy" to me which made me built my interest on how to manage time and finance. It lead me into the path of being more mature in this field than others from my age when i was just only 14.

The 2nd one is Mr Vanness Fan - you introduce me this author by the name of 戴晨志．Just the name of this author which is labelled across few dozen books taught me more than i could even digest nowadays.

of coz not only the both of them had a whole lot of respect from me, all of those around me including some i had even lost contact with, you all taught me valuable lessons in Life as i learn from you guys everyday, every hour and every moment. The way i talk, think, act, accomplish things is learnt from every one of your bits n parts behavior and actions. =)

To those friend who love me unconditionally and never left me alone.

You are the ones who picked me up when i m at the lowest of my sorrow.

You are the ones who set my head straight and hold my hands and walk along with me when i often get lost in life.

You are the ones who take notice of my careless behavior and nags me even though you know i would forget it eventually and still help me 'zap shao mei' even though i m so forgetful to say thank you.

You are the ones who let me bully you when my devil eager was UP but you just stood still.

You are the ones who pick up the things i dropped or left back and return it to me, example MY SMILE and Laughters. =)

You are the ones made my tears roll in between my eyes but i dare not to even shed even 1 single drop a tears as i know you wud be sad if you thought i was sad.

You are the ones that in my phone list which normally each lonesome night my fingers will flick across but dare not to hit the button "dial"

You are the ones that I would love to plan your birthdays for and vise versal.

You are the ones that is not my bfs but i would love to hug.

You are the ones who i will die for just for your safety just under the rank of "family" in my heart.

You are the ones that taught me nothing is too hard to walk through, if you were just by my side.

You are the ones that i would always remember what we been through even after so many years. Every SINGLE BIT including arguements and embrassing moments! teehee =p

You are the ones who i wished that i would die earlier becoz until now you never taught me how to handle the feelings of "leaving you forever" as you are the ones that never left me.

As i do not know and could not even bare to think of pain if i had lost anyone of you.

Thus, you are the one i would yell and threaten that if any one of you think of committing suicide, i would jump into hell just to pull you back up to earth to torture you to live with ME this devil forever!

You are the ones who slashes through my heart if i found out you are doing some SHIT to hurt yourself. (including family/cousins)

You are the ones that could not imagine how important by "just being Nicky Kong Sinn Loo" is for me.

Please help me safe our home T.T

earth is our home and she is very very ill and she needs us the most now. please help me safe our home.

Big Bang - Make Love *

I never knew I'd find a love so true
This one right here, is just for you
Remember that One day
I held your hands then I kissed your lips then I told you
Our love was meant to be and always will forever
Give me that happiness I get from you just being there
I always see you when I close my eyes, you're on my mind
So can't you see, I need you right here wit me, close by my side
This time for sure, Gonna let you know, My love is straight from the heart
Forever you're my girl Forever be my world You are the only one
The only one I'll ever need, my life is you and me
Forever you're my girl Forever be my world
You are the only one
I'll never break your heart "no", so baby don't let go
Even through the hard times We made it through just fine
When it hurt we put in the work
To show that I'm yours
And that your mine
That's how we got this far
Let's never be apart
Girl, you're my queen
I'm here for you
'Cuz you're my everything
You always make me feel like everyhing's gonna be alright
Wit the things you do, becuz it's you the real true love of my life
This time fo sho, Gonna let you know, My love is straight from the heart
Forever you my girl Forever be my world
You are the only one
The only one I'll ever need, my life is you & me Forever you my girl Forever be my world
You are the only one
I'll never break your heart "no", so baby don't let go
uh? baby!
you know I'd walk them miles
climb mountains swith up styles
all I wanna do, is be with you
ain't no matter what, where and how
[right here and now] we can both get down [straight work it out] yeah
like that sound bump 'n grindin' perfect timin'
let's dine and both be proud yeah yeah yeah
gonna take you on a joyride today
me and you stay true never hesitate
to make love ? sho nuff
you're the only one I'm ever thinkin' of
just to hold you baby I can hardly wait
as we go through the motions damn it's great
to make love ? sho 'nuff we're gonna take it to the end and that's what's up
Chorus You are the only one I want to spend my whole life with I know
Anywhere you are, that's where I will call home
So just take my hand and say that you will never let it go
Two hearts always beating as one forever more
Chorus I'm nothing without you I'm nothing without you girl

不是男朋友的男朋友 (forwarded)

每个女生心里都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了自己的前程，她没有要你等她。

也许你们相遇太早，
还不懂得珍惜对方。

也许你们相遇太晚，
你们身边已经有了另一个人。

也许你回头太迟，
对方已不再等待。

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，
而迟迟无法跨出界线。

不过即使你们没在一起，
你们还是保持了朋友的关系。

但是你们心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。

即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。

她有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，
心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望她追到。

她遇到困难时，
你会尽你所能的帮她，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。

男女朋友吃醋了，
你会安抚他们说你和她只是朋友，
但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。

每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。

一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。

你宁愿这样关心她，
总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。

你宁愿做她的朋友，
彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。

特别是这样，
你还是知道，
她永远会关心你的。

做不成男女朋友，
当她那个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？

你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？

很多的感情，
都因为一厢情愿，
最后连朋友都当不成了

常常觉得惋惜，
可惜一些本来很好的友情

最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，
如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，
这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。

因为这就像是一场赌注，
表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，
要不就连朋友都当不成了。

有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，
你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的......

关于爱情：
不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的。
不要认为我还年轻，可以晚些结婚，爱情是不等年龄的。
不要因为距离太远而放弃，爱情是可以和你一起坐火车的。
不要因为对方不富裕而放弃，只要不是无能的人，勤劳可以让你们致富。
不要因为父母反对而放弃，你会发现这个原因而放弃的爱情，将是你一生的悔恨。
其实，对于爱情，越单纯越幸福！一生只谈一次恋爱是最好的。经历的太多了，会麻木，分离多了，会习惯，换恋人多了，会比较，到最后你会不再相信爱情，你会自暴自弃，你会毫无生气，你会行尸走肉，你会与一个你不爱的人结婚，就这样过一辈子···

所以牵好的手就不要轻易放开，说过的话就不要轻易收回，承诺过的人就不要轻易忘记···

有些人，有些事，既然发生了。
就注定是你一生的回忆···

1st Chinese New Year in KL

2010 Chinese New Year for me..

there is no more rush....

no Jamming in the highways...

no napping in the car til my saliva stain my pillow =p

no waking up with a bad hair look to look out the car window to see Tapah Road.

no the 3 hours smell of air con in my face....

no silly conversation and singing along the way back hometown...

no the smell of the rubber factory at the entrance of the village...

no stepping on sandy floor with chicken poop smell after i open the door.

no seeing the familiar body figure sitting on the cane chair waitting for us....

no seeing the smile on the wrinkled face to welcome us back to hometown..

absence of the sentence " =) FAN LEH JOR A?? " by 'ah ma'

absence of the very valueble moment which makes the feel and atmosphere of my Chinese new year... i miss Tapah Road n the times we spend during CNY there...

annoying noisy yet loveable cousins messying around with your hp..

checking your sms... gossiping about each other's love life or anything...

no more pillow fights on the beds... no more crying after loosing the fight..

no more throwing 'pop pop' to each other during the night too

absence of the long sentence of 'ah ma, dai bak, dai mou, yi bak, yi mou, baba, mama, ah heng suksuk, sei sum, ah meng suksuk, mm sum, ah wai gorgor, gorgor, xiu man jiejie, pui wan jiejie, koonnai jiejie, pui yee jiejie, ah heng, sinn yin, jane jane, kar kit. SEK FAN!!!!!!!!!!'

no more the excitement of eating fast and the fight of chopsticks during the big reunion dinner..

no more going to the old greenish 60s refridgerator to pull out a couple of soft drinks to quench my thirst due to the HOT weather in tapah road.

no more choosing a spot to sleep in the crowded room.

absence of toilet and bathroom waitting line up moments in the house.

absence of 'argh~!! no line in kampung zzzzzz =.='

absence of '=( i miss internet.... no facebook no msn.. so sien'

absence of 'aiyak.. no astro.. only can watch tv1 tv2 8tv... kekeke all old show geh'

absence of gathering around the tv.. waitting for your zodiac to appear on tv and see what your lucks for this coming year...

absence of 'small gamble n midnight CNY snacking with each other in the living room'

absence of the feel when you are too bored of the warm and happy atmosphere in the house.. u need to take a ride out on 'ah ma's red bicycle around the kampung...

i miss all those feeling... =(

This year din get to go back dad's hometown tapah road.

but we also had our own little KL reunion dinner..

will update this post with more photoes soon.

things that make u go "ssss....."

"ssss....." is a sound that i make when i see something hot/sexy/unbelieveble..../or when its really really cold!! xD

how to make that sound ?

imagine your lips slightly open.. but your teeth are closed... and your tongue pushing your lower front teeth... then take a deep breath in with with your mouth...

tats how "ssssssssss...." is....

i make that sound mostly when i heard some unbelieveble news.. mostly tragedy

*sssssssssssss...............ouch* how sad to hear tat...

and

also most of the times im in genting.....

if i walk out to the ourdoors..... "sssssssssssss........ cold....fuuuuuuuuuuuuu"....

"ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....." (haha u will just hear me non stop doing it....)

and lastly also when i see something incrediblely 'gorgeous / beautiful / hot / handsome / sexy '

i will eventually make the 'sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.....' sound... without being notice by the 'he or she' which i m looking at.. hehe..

when u see something u know its hot and sexy... u will know..

that feel hits u straight in the heart that pumps it tru your whole body..

your sense will eventually react automaticcally...

to me = 'sssssssssssss.....'

=) i 'sssssssssssssssss.......'-ing now...

coz i just saw something that made me 'ssssssssss....'

its really a super 'ssssssss...'